Connect emotionally and grow your sales and influence

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“Perhaps it is easy for those who have never felt the stinging darts of segregation to say, “Wait.” But when you have seen vicious mobs lynch your mothers and fathers at will and drown your sisters and brothers at whim…. when you are forever fighting a degenerating sense of “nobodiness” then you will understand why we find it difficult to wait.” – Martin Luther King Jr. 1963 – Letter from a Birmingham Jail


Have you ever been around someone who was really, I mean really, able to walk in your shoes? To not just say they understand but really feel what you feel? That is the secret of compassion and compassion is the secret to sales and influence.


I once heard a friend say that being heard is so close to be loved that most people can’t tell the difference. How well do you listen to those in your life? How well do you feel the pain of your prospects? Clients? Partners? How good are you at feeling what others feel?


Often when I am working with a team of sales people they want to know how to “Close” better or “sell” better.

Or, get their realtors to send them more business.  But, the greatest sales secret in the world is to be a great listener, practice compassion, ask great questions, and walk in your prospects shoes. When you can feel what they feel then you are connecting emotionally with their issues.


In a sales situation it is tempting to talk a lot and show the prospect how much you know about loans and mortgages. And think you are closing the sale, you couldn’t be more wrong. Your prospect doesn’t care how much you know about your product, they care how much you understand their problem, pain, or challenge.


You can’t learn about someone’s pain or walk in their shoes by talking. So close your mouth and start listening, or better yet start feeling what they feel.


A good system is to never tell anybody anything (especially about their situation) until you know these 3 things:

  • What are they thinking?
  • What are they feeling?
  • What are they experiencing?

…in this situation. After you have asked enough questions, clarified enough answers, and felt enough of their pain to understand their situation thoroughly should you venture out on the limb and daring to explain that what you offer is a good fit for them.


The decision to buy something is not logical it is an emotional decision that has to be justified logically. It wasn’t until our country truly felt the pain of segregation that people justified changing the culture. Thanks to great speeches that allowed a hate filled and hurt society to see and more importantly feel the pain it was creating.


May we all learn to get outside ourselves long enough to feel what those around us feel. Connecting with each other emotionally is the greatest tool to helping people change there is.


Practice the white magic of listening and see your relationships, influence, and profits grow!


Enjoy Life today!


Jon Bohm

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